When events occur such as those that changed our lives on Sept. 11, we have great difficulty understanding and interpreting what has happened to us. The collapse of the World Trade Center, the striking of the Pentagon, and the plane crash in Pennsylvania can leave us feeling sad, vulnerable and angry. And it does. However, we have the capability to make choices about our emotional reactions. We can choose to feel helpless or we can choose to feel helpful. Obviously, we are much better off when we choose the latter.

When we choose to react with helpfulness, we are reacting with strength, resolve and determination. We are then more able to remain connected to those close to us, hopeful and proud of our country. We must decide to act rather than react to what has happened. Then, we can provide assistance to our loved ones in a variety of ways, as so many Americans have already done. Those of us who are parents need to reassure our children and family members that these kinds of occurrences are rare. We must actively normalize daily routines as much as possible and be available to answer questions that continually disturb our loved ones. For our friends who are troubled, we should stay close and talk about what's happened, and focus on a safe and happy future together. As American citizens, we must reach out and focus on a safe and happy future together. As American citizens, we must reach out and help strangers because they need us and because it feels good to do so.

Above all, we must remember to persist through the many difficult days and months ahead. Mental health professionals have a responsibility to actively reach out and encourage others to make helpful emotional and behavioral choices because that is what will keep us strong and healthy. Each of us must be sensitive and aware of those who might be experiencing prolonged or unusual emotional reactions. They might wish to seek professional assistance.

We must now learn how to effectively cope with tragedy. Making healthy, helpful choices are strategies that will work. Let's choose to react with a necessary acceptance about what's happened and an optimism about the bright future of our country.

If you have questions or comments, or would like to discuss how to be helpful to others, please call me at 626-8353.

(The writer is a psychologist and resident of Old Westbury.)