I admit it, "I am a Technology Klutz"

When I open those sleek, imprinted, corrugated cartons I have just purchased, I get nauseous inside. Waiting for me inside the box I know there will be an instruction manual. The fabulous TV set, the state-of-the-art telephone, the Fabulous FAX Machine; or the Super Duper Computer will be sitting in a styrofoam tomb and just waiting to trap me into putting it together, improperly.

First of all, the product has probably been made in a foreign country. The instructions are usually written in a cold, stilted English and in a non-idiomatic style. I feel the manual writer is snickering at me and daring me to get this thing operational. He/she is 100 percent correct. Without the aid of a daughter-in-law (a computer whiz) or a paid mechanic, that machine is going to sit in that box for a long time.

I just can't face it alone!

Of course they give you telephone numbers to call (usually in New Jersey). I don't want to call anybody, anywhere and reveal my lack of technical ability. He/she, too, will probably start to snicker before long.

Programming a modern gadget is frightening. All those arrows going in different directions can drive an elderly gentleman (such as myself) insane. Even getting the newly bought thing to be at the right time setting is an ordeal. Why does that thing need to be on the right time? Does it have a pressing engagement? It's not going anywhere! Let it buy a watch rather than have me pushing buttons and setting arrows for hours on end.

The most complicated mechanism I want to master is the machine called the "TV Remote Control." Just place the two AA batteries in the back and you can click away for months. Changing the batteries is as far as my technology goes. One battery facing up and the other facing down and "voila," I am the master of the television set.

Truthfully, once I get the knack of the machine, I do enjoy using it. I never quite get it to the fullest degree of use that the manufacturer placed in it. But, I can send a fax, send e-mail messages and handle call waiting, yet I am never on secure ground completely. I have sprung from a different era of time.

I was married 40 years ago in Washington, DC on July 1, 1962. It was in a synagogue on 16th and Crittenden Street. I married Lorraine Rochelle Meyerovitch, who was a citizen of Silver Spring, MD. She was a senior in George Washington University and I had just completed my military service. We joined together and stepped out into the waiting world. My technology confession coincides with the celebration of our 40th wedding anniversary.

That world (looking back) didn't seem as hostile as the world does today. We entered into a simpler, less complicated, less technological place, with fewer options to start married life.

In spite of intervening technologies, we are still married.