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Presently, I am taking an autobiographical writing course with Professor Toby Bird at Nassau Community College. The following was our in-class writing assignment: Write about your life and fill in the blanks.

"Once I was ............, now I am ..........!"

A tough exercise but here goes:

* Once I was a bar mitzvah boy surrounded by a close family, now most of them are gone.

* Once I was a college student, now I am at a loss for not applying myself and learning more.

* Once I was an army officer with a great uniform and status and position on my shoulders and now it is all "gone with the wind."

* Once I was a father with a definite role in forming my children, now I am a grandfather with minimal say in bringing up my grandchildren.

* Once I was a great lover of my wife and now I just love her for who she is.

"Stop writing!" said Professor Bird.

"Now take one of those examples and expand on it."

Again, "here goes:"

Once I was a bar mitzvah boy and I had a whole retinue of family. My father's three brothers were my idols and they were good to me. I must have had something, some spark, because they loved me and made me feel loved. My mother's two brothers were "retail rats" in a dry-goods store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (South 2nd and Havemayer) but I remember even them fondly.

Taking me to ball games, taking me for my confirmation suit, kidding me, talking to me and just being uncles was a thrill for me.

Now every one of them is gone and I am the sole repository for our shared memories. Things happen that shift my mind back to yesterday and the warmth and good feeling of family relationships. I only hope that somehow in some way I am passively conveying the same feeling to my slew of nieces and nephews. I really doubt that I am!

Geography is the culprit. Also, the decline of family dynamics in this very complicated time on our planet. Simpler was better.

I don't want to blame the stars. I accept some of the blame myself. Older, I have become a bit selfish and I do not make the efforts I really could to be part of their lives.

Now that I have thought about it, I am hoping that this writing exercise will focus my efforts to pass the benefits I received from my uncles - loved onto my family.