For those of you who do not know me, please find a brief 30-year biography just to bring you up to date. The son of Stanley and Lorraine Greenberg, I started my academic career at Burns Avenue Elementary School in Hicksville and continued on through Cornell Business School with stops in between that included Jericho High School and Amherst College in Massachusetts. On Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays during my formative years, I was back in class for a few extra hours at Temple Beth Torah's Hebrew school. When not in class, I was on some kin of ballfield, usually soccer, and probably for the Hicksville American Soccer Club. My brother Adam and sister Cara both went to Tufts University in Boston and are now successful lawyers with beautiful families. After finishing business school, I went to work for an investment bank in Manhattan. I also occasionally write articles for my father's column when he's on vacation.

You might have guessed my problem by now...I'm turning 30 next week, Jan. 3, 2000. Damn!! I don't know why people wax nostalgic about years in their lives which have no significance other than the fact that they are divisible by 10, but they do. I suppose it's what they call a "milestone" year or event in your life, like when you can drive a car at 17 or drink a beer at the age of 21. Now those are great milestones, and they aren't even divisible by 5, let alone 10. What is the big deal with 30 anyway? It seems like I'm getting worked up over nothing, exactly like this whole Year 2000 mess, another ridiculous event based on numerical divisibility.

Y2K???...I have a bigger problem to deal with than a computer malfunction that might end the world. I've faced hard-drive crashes before on my computer a countless number of times, and I survived. You just pick the computer up, throw the computer out, dust a paper and pen off, and start all over again. Luckily, I went to elementary school in the '70s and back then the teachers taught us to write on paper and blackboards. Computers meant calculators or punch cards back then, and playground bullies were still bullies, not misunderstood children in need of ritalin and attention. Yeah, we had it rough back then, but somehow I survived. Kids today have it easy with their Palm Pilots, Pokemons and Laptops. Spoiled is what they are!

Done! Not that bad. Thirty years in less than 150 words. I left out the romantic stuff and a few friendships here and there, but that's for the mini-series or the A&E biography anyway. It's the cold hard facts that count in this world and there you have them. They don't ask you for the names of your prom date or fraternity buddies on job applications, do they?

Jeez, I'm sounding bitter for a guy who's known no war and who has been blessed with some great friends and family...All because I'm turning 30. Funny what a number can do to you. How it makes you reflect a little bit. Bad things. Good things...Hey, this turning 30 milestone might not be that bad! It makes you think! Maybe that's the point of it all.