As our Pacha Tour of 17 days through Western Turkey (Anatolia) left the President Hotel in Istanbul, the hotel manager jumped on the bus and stated, "Will the person who had the chicken sandwich at the pool please pay for it?" Visions of Midnight Express popped into my mind. I knew my brother-in-law Larry Silver was the culprit and I hoped they wouldn't be too cruel to him as he spent the next 15 years in a Turkish prison. Fortunately, Larry confessed and paid for the sandwich, and we were on our way.

Having 37 people on an air-conditioned bus, driving from Istanbul, Europe to Istanbul, Asia was reminiscent of Kathryn Ann Porter's novel Ship of Fools. It was an international bunch, and by trip's end we weren't sure that we could live without each other.

The passengers consisted of six Australians, a South African, four Texans and some ethnic and non-ethnic Americans.

Our guide was a Seljuk Turk named Serap. She proved to be a staunch representative of the Turkish people. She explained their history and their relationship to Islam. She was an archeologist and she had studied for six months in the States.

We had just spent two free days in Istanbul. We dined on baby eggplants, stuffed with ground lamb, while overlooking the Bosporus and the Sea of Marmara. The sights, smells and sounds of Istanbul are electrifying. The Grand Bazaar has 4,000 shops (more than Roosevelt Field). As you pass the carpet, leather, gold, silver and luggage shops, the friendly, but persistent shopkeepers ask you, "Where are you from? New York? I have a cousin there. Come into my store."

Buying a carpet is an interesting bit of commerce. If you show even a slight interest in a particular rug, you have lost your buying advantage. Hundreds of rugs will appear from every corner of the establishment and be dropped in front of you. The pile of rugs will continue to grow until you decide on your favorite.

Then begins the haggling. The first price is not given serious thought. It is best never to state a price when buying. Walking out of the shop and threatening to leave are good bargaining tactics. Accepting the sweet tea, beer or Coca-Cola is recommended, but only if you are thirsty from all the arm-waving and bantering.

Funny quote from the carpet salesman: "Don't leave your heart here," meaning that if you leave without buying it, you will regret it.

I answered, "Who are you, Tony Bennett?"

The negotiations were very civilized and good natured. I never thought I would buy a carpet and lug it home on Turkish Airlines, but I did. It looks fabulous in our home and I am being treated for the hernia which accompanied it.

A few words about Turkey, and the Turkish people:

Turkey is a country of 66 million people. It is a secular state, and the Eastern bulwark of NATO. The Turks came from Central Asia to Asia Minor in the 11th century. Turks are not Arabs. They have only the Koran and Islam in common with Arabs. Their original religion was Shamanism (nature worship), but they became Muslims also in the 11th century. They defeated the Byzantines (Armenians, Greeks and Romans), and in 1453 AD formed the Ottoman Empire, which lasted until 1918.

Turkey is a self-sufficient country. It does not need to import food. Agriculture comprises 50% of its commerce; industry, 25 percent; service, 25percent. Inflation is 90 to 95 percent.

The Turks are hard-working people, who are obedient to leadership. They possess deep family feelings.

They offer a foreigner "benign neglect." They don't pay attention to you, but are very friendly when asked for directions or the location of the nearest W.C.

Some Istanbul (not Constantinople) sights:

1. The Blue Mosque, which has six minarets, or towers, to which the people are called to prayer five times a day.

2. Topkapi Palace, built by the Ottomans to oversee the empire. The tour of the Harem, or the Sultan's family lodgings, was interesting.

3. Hagia Sofia, a Byzantine church which was converted to a mosque, and is now a museum.

4. The Galata Tower, used by the conquering Venetians as a lookout post overseeing the Bosporus.

Okay, my readers, get back on the tour bus. Next week we are heading east to the capital, Ankara. Return your hotel keys to the desk, pay your mini-bar bill and let's get underway.

Continued next week.