This year, as every other, our children are planning the trip to the Bahamas. This trip is neither endorsed nor sponsored by the Roslyn School District. The children decide whom to room with, the airline fare, and their own activities. In light of the recent events involving our and other Long Island communities, we recognize what can occur when children organize their own events and when children are left unattended. Midnight Madness, a night as a police officer stated "that involved many criminal activities" was enjoyed by the same seniors who can't wait for April.

We have followed the footsteps of grades before us. In eighth grade it is questionable to allow children to go to unsupervised open houses. Parents can call parents to see if they are going to be home. That is acceptable. By the sophomore year, the rules of the close knit community get murky and the majority of parents fall to the patterns of previous years: time to allow our children to go to unsupervised open houses and to clubs. Interference is an embarrassment to our young adults. However, 12-15 percent of our young adults who are exploring at open houses end up as addicts. Drug and alcohol research clearly indicates the earlier kids start drinking/drugging the greater the likelihood of substance abuse. The longer we can play an active role in preventing our children from trying drugs and alcohol the better the insurance policy for our kids living a full life without needing a drink/drug. We need a year where a 10th-grade group of parents comes together and keeps the passion for rules and supervision alive. They can embrace a new reality for our kids that can set the standards for future years.

Our children chant: "All the kids go out on Midnight Madness and everyone goes to the Bahamas." They ask us to send them because it would be unfair to deny them the unsupervised atmosphere where kids go to gamble, drink and "party" with each other. It's part of our child's rite of high school passage even if the environment is corrupt. The high school just had a speaker telling of her experience of being raped in the Bahamas. Let's focus our energy and thoughts on other things like the Senior Party and colleges. The Senior Party and college talk is meaningful to children and parents alike. However, we place too much emphasis on these things and we don't give enough thought to really thinking through the ramifications of allowing our children to go to the Bahamas. Who wants to? We might actually have to say the most unpopular word to our children - no! The problem on Long Island as so well expressed by the God Squad is "we pay too much attention to the values that don't really matter, and the values that do really matter, we don't pay enough attention to."

When we are posed with the question: why we would allow our child to attend an unsupervised event, we answer, "I trust my child." If we were to look further we would find a fervent desire to provide our children with all opportunities that would help them develop positive peer relationships. Of course this is a parent's prerogative, a prerogative based sometimes on our own unresolved need to belong, for popularity and conformity. It's time to stop living through our children. Can't we separate long enough and passionately enough to say no? Does that desire only come through tragedy?

There are no coincidences. The happenings of the last few months (Mepham, Midnight Madness) can be unrecognized foreshadowing of what lies ahead. We must search our hearts and recognize the truth. This might mean saying the most unpopular word, no! We must rethink all trips and unsupervised events for our children. We must blend our words with actions that complete our sentences.

A website can be created by a parent or teacher to discuss the Bahamas. A follow-up letter to this would be helpful. We must communicate and educate each other to the knowledge some of us have about what really goes on in the Bahamas. If we are not part of the solution, then we are part of the problem. Let's communicate with each other. The time is now. The voice is ours. It's healthier to look ahead, than look back with regret at turning a blind eye to their age and our allowances. At age 17 and 18, we thought we were invincible. Let's hope our kids are.