Written by Judy Epstein Friday, 01 March 2013 00:00
I watch television to relax. The trouble is, sometimes, it’s not so relaxing.
Take the police procedurals I watch. The officers go into a house or apartment, guns drawn, looking for someone. They sneak around checking closets, finding dead bodies, evidence, I-don’t-know-what-all… but the entire time, I can’t pay a scrap of attention, because I’m too busy shouting at them, “Shut the door! Close it behind you! How do you know they aren’t coming back?”
Nobody ever shuts the door! And by the way, what does it mean when they yell “Clear”? Apparently one thing it does NOT mean is, “There’s nobody here,” because half the time, as soon as they’ve said it, some criminal springs out of the closet or out from under the bed., and attacks them; so I’m thinking it means “I’m all alone here…” or, as we used to say when I was a kid, “All-ye-all-ye-home-free!” Instead of “clear,” I think they should just yell “Marco!” Then whoever’s hiding in the closet could yell “Polo!” and we could be getting somewhere.
When they’re not entering premises with their guns drawn, they’re sneaking up on bad guys holed up in buildings…and yet the officers are always jabbering, in loud conversational tones, about who they’re sneaking up on, and who’s going to sneak to which window, not to mention where they’re all going for lunch after the arrests are made. Does nobody hear this? Does nobody bolt out the back? And how can the criminals possibly get any of their criminal work done, with all that blather going on outside?
Now, I’m no expert on the Constitution or the Bill of Rights, but there seems to be some kind of requirement that when police tell a suspect to “Stop! Police!” they must shout it from at least a city block away. There must be some prohibition against getting close enough to actually arrest them…or else why don’t they? So there’s always a foot-race, complete with gunfire ringing out and various kinds of property getting smashed. Alas, they never seem to learn from these rookie mistakes… even though I have, and keep trying to tell them: “Get closer first!” But they never listen.
When the fugitives escape in a vehicle, police officers jump in their cars and give chase. But who had the keys? When did they put them in the ignition? Or is everyone driving those newfangled cars that “know” if their key is in your pocket? (Which is more than I ever know. I rented one of those things recently, for a college visit, and my son had to “facebook” a friend of his to find out how to start the car.) Of course no one ever fastens their seatbelt – or needs so much as a second to take one off, when they arrive.
I’m sure I needn’t tell you how distracted I get when the driver turns around, for an animated conversation with somebody in the back seat, and never runs off the road or into another car.
And there’s one thing I find flat-out unbelievable. Somehow, the police are always finding surveillance cameras that just happen to be in the right place, turned on, and recording, when whoever they’re investigating walks by. For heaven’s sake, the DVR that I record these shows on doesn’t work that well, and I’m paying for it!
After an hour of all this “relaxation,” I am exhausted and ready for bed. So I’ll see you tomorrow… if Marco and Polo from the closet don’t get me first.
Judy Epstein is too busy researching this piece right now to take your calls, so please leave your message at alookonthelightside.com.
Thursday, 23 May 2013 00:00
Attendees of the Port Washington Memorial Day parade might see a familiar face waving from the American Legion convertible this year. 90-year-old army veteran Ed Balcourt will be this year’s Grand Marshal.
Balcourt, who was raised in Brooklyn, was attending medical school at the height of the U.S. involvement in World War II. He was deferred from the draft, but at 19, decided to join the army.
“All my friends had been drafted. When I walked outside, I could feel all the women looking at me. I felt a little guilty. I wanted to go fight,” Balcourt said.
Thursday, 23 May 2013 00:00
The Port Washington Veterans of Foreign Wars has selected Peter Ripullone, a decorated soldier and architect, as Co-Grand Marshal of this year’s Memorial Day Parade. The Ripullone family has a long tradition of military service, which dates back to World War I.
Ripullone followed the family tradition and entered military service as a second lieutenant in the army, in 1966. After completing his combat engineering training, he was certified as a combat engineer unit commander. Prior to his service in Vietnam, he spent three months with the 91st Combat Engineers, assisting in the training of West Point cadets at the U.S. Military Academy, for various combat engineering missions, including various types of bridge construction, building and fortification structures, road and runway construction, mine warfare and demolition training.
Thursday, 23 May 2013 00:00
Elimination in the first-round of the county playoffs, though disappointing, can’t take anything away from what the Schreiber High School girls softball team accomplished this year, according to coach Eric Sutz.
A comparison between what happened to the team last year and what the team did this year is a study in contrasts. “Last year we didn’t win one league game,” Sutz explained. “This year we were undefeated in the league.” The Vikings won all 14 of their league games and were 15-4 overall. They were conference champions for the first time since 2004.
Thursday, 16 May 2013 00:00
The fact that Port Washington Youth Activities (PYA) is celebrating its 50th year of working with area boys and girls is quite an accomplishment. Ron Henderson, its executive director for the past 20 years, also has a long history with PYA’s Lions Field that extends all the way back to 1958.
“I played in the first games ever held at the field back then when it was the Port Washington Little League,” said Henderson. “That was before the field was renovated.” The renovation, which began in 1999 and forced the PYA to relocate for two years from its Glen Lane site, now features four Little League fields and one major league field, all on pesticide-free, natural grass. During the fall, the fields are converted for lacrosse and football programs.