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I have been following the flurry of letters, pro and con, concerning what is disingenuously labeled a 'Vista Trail' on the bluffs overlooking Hempstead Harbor and the golf course. I hereby submit a modest proposal to the Residents for a More Beautiful Port Washington, who champion this dubious development but frame it in deceptive euphemisms.

Let's split the difference. Since perusal of the telephone directory reveals that your correspondents don't live in the affected area, perhaps they might be willing to make a trade, analogous to a swap of air pollution liability.

Sharon Horn invokes Residents' past opposition to the incinerator as bona fides for future environmental desecration. (You weren't the only opponents of the incinerator, so it's shameless to take full credit.) I would deem it fair that the Vista Trail be reached via a shuttle originating on her street, reached by parking as close as possible to her house.

Doubtless reader Jon Braman and his friend Isaac wouldn't mind collecting used condoms, beer cans and broken bottles during their trek, combining communion with nature and public service.

Reader Rick Krainin might take a Red Cross first-aid course, the better to administer to those who injure themselves while attempting their precipitous descent to the golf course.

Finally, let's target the power center of this insidious coterie. Port Washington lacks a local government. The closest we have to a ruler is the awesome majesty of Myron Blumenthal, president of Residents for a More Beautiful Port Washington. Not many residents (lower case) are sufficiently acquainted with this formidable gentleman, but perhaps they ought to be. Why not introduce Hollywood-style tour buses that pass his royal residence, stopping to permit photography? Tourists might even be lucky enough to glimpse the regal residence. King Myron has an unlisted number, but that minor obstacle can easily be overcome.

These perfectly innocuous sacrifices would compensate for opening the Vista Trail. Residents ought to snap at this bargain before it is withdrawn. Their persistence in the face of vehement opposition from those most affected almost makes me reconsider my advocacy of a treaty banning land mines.

Richard N. Einhorn

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