Written by Stanley Greenberg Friday, 05 November 2010 00:00
Today, I would like to discuss a topic near and dear to the hearts of citizens over 60. It is the subject of PILLS. You know, those little, expensive things you buy at CVS and swallow every morning upon awakening and before you put on your pajamas in the evening.
Through my first 50 or so years on this planet, I never touched, swallowed or digested medication in tablet form. Now, I have counted up the sum of the total amount of pills. I imbibe eight pills in the morning and five pills in the evening. This is done under doctor’s orders and presumably for the maintenance of my health.
The morning pill diet is: Janumet, which is for diabetes (which I seriously doubt I have.) A fish oil pill, which my wife tells me will help me live to 120 years of age. A compound vitamin that supplies all the nutrition that I supposedly do not derive from my more than hearty and wholesome diet. Just in case the multivitamin and multi-supplement do not satisfy, I am given a pill for Vitamin D. I get plenty of sun and drink milk. Why do I need a Vitamin D pill?
I am taking these little round and oblong things under duress. I do not wish to engage in battle with my physician and/or my wife, who will oftentimes slip me a pill while I am watching television.
And now for the evening “pill barrage.”
Lipitor is an almost-must for every senior citizen. It opens your blood vessels and clears away the plaque. Ecotrin is a cardiac preventative that also clears your blood vessels. I also take Niaspan, which does the same thing as the other two.
I neglected to mention that on awakening, I also take: Two Glyburide pills for my supposed diabetes. Actually, I am an avid dessert and chocoholic eater and have never watched my sweets diet. Vitamin B or Folic Acid for something or other, and Lexapro so I don’t become too overbearing, violent, and hostile.
There you have it, my confession.
I do not think these medications in pill form are keeping me alive, but taking them is easier than not taking them. It makes for peace!