The "Check Engine" light on modern automobiles is a wonderful scientific advance. Or, is it?

Let me relate a tale of woe associated with those words of warning. If you are driving your car and everything seems "hunky dory" and suddenly the "check engine" warning flashes, you are dumbfounded. What has suddenly gone wrong?

There are so many possibilities of what has gone awry, it is almost endless. Modern cars have computers, air conditioners, heaters and pistons and valves that the poor driver does not know where to begin. Shouldn't the light at least give us a hint? "Check Engine" is like the proverbial needle in a haystack.

About 12 years ago the "Check Engine" light began flickering in my wife's car. Her car was driving faultlessly and nothing seemed to be wrong. My wife, unwaveringly, stated, "I will be afraid to travel in a car with that light staring at me. Who knows what is going bad in that engine?"

That night we brought the car to our beloved mechanic. Every family must have a trusted physician, dentist, plumber and mechanic. He said, "Take the car home and bring it in tomorrow morning." We said, "Can't we leave it here overnight and you can check out the problem in the morning?" He said, "It's probably nothing, bring it back tomorrow."

We insisted and left the car on his busy lot and handed him the keys.

Next day at noon I called him to find out what was the fatal diagnosis. He was stunned. "Did you leave your car? Well, it is not here on my lot."

Our beautiful, reliable, old pal of a car was stolen off the mechanic's lot!

The police were called.

The insurance company was informed.

A month and a-half passed and we received a muffled, mysterious phone call. "You can find your car in Ridgewood, Queens alongside the railroad tracks!"

We rushed to Ridgewood and we found our car. All its doors had been removed and birds were living happily in the trunk. Our once proud auto was now a total wreck. We again informed the police and the insurance company.

In my opinion, some "chop shop" put out an order for four doors of our brand of automobile. The crooks found it on our mechanic's lot. End of search.

The insurance money was used to buy a new car.

If only that "Check Engine" light never flickered!