My wife loves me!

Of this I am quite sure!

We have been married some 44 years, July 1, 2006.

She has plastered my car windshield with "Slow Down" signs. She forces me to take vitamins.

Her last words when we part for our varied individual activities are "Be Careful!"

She has a difficult job, as I have always been the "Jewish, Long Island" version of Pecks Bad Boy. I have always ridden the edge and she is always right there in the center with perfect morals and a need to be a good upstanding citizen. I admire this tendency, but I know I can't live up to it for long periods of time.

Let me give you an incident where I tried her patience to the end and caused her to blow her usual calm and cool behavior.

We were at a Bar Mitzvah in Bedford MA. Our former next door neighbors Harvey and Libby Rosenberg's grandson was being confirmed and we were invited. We stayed at a Marriott Motel and it was quite beautiful with many amenities.

Lorraine was in the hotel room trying to select her outfit for the evening party. This is very serious work. I left the room because I could feel the tension.

I wandered into the garden and I was soon overcome by the delicious odor of expensive cigars. I sat down with the three smokers and we soon were involved in a baseball conversation. Since I was the eldest, I offered many tidbits on the Dodgers, Giants and Yankees of the 1940s. We were having a grand masculine time when one of the smokers offered me a cigar.

He said it sold for $10 and it sure smelled good. I put it in my shirt pocket and thanked him profusely. I had fantasies of when I could light up this brilliant, expensive gift in Jericho. "Walter Mitty on the deck with a huge 10-inch stogie!"

I went back to my room and my wife was still trying to put together an outfit. As I entered her eyes narrowed and she attacked my shirt pocket. Before I could stop her, she had possession of my cigar and in one horrible motion she broke it in two.

She screamed, "I am just trying to save your life." I was heartbroken. My cigar was now two cigars, cracked right down the middle. I was devastated.

Did my wife overstep the marriage vows?

The marriage ceremony 44 years ago never mentioned cigars. It's a tough call!