I am no Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) but I do need to suggest a modest proposal to the problem of American elections.

The problem? -They are too long.

The contestants start in January of the election year with the Iowa caucuses and do not finish until the first Tuesday in November. That is 10 months of haranguing the opposition and the American public with speeches and promises that fill the airways. These diatribes are usually much less than sincere and are subject to change as the situation arises.

Have you seen anything more inane than a political convention, be it Democratic or Republican? People carrying and waving signs, shouting and demonstrating and all in all, acting like giddy children.

They appear to think that all that fuss will allow them to keep their patronage jobs for four more years. Who needs all those dumb balloons? No voter's mind has ever been changed by a political convention.

They crowd all the TV channels and we get more political analysis than programming. Over and over again, saying the same thing in a slightly different manner - the public listens and yawns. Peace and prosperity or prosperity and peace are the choices we are given. Tweedledee or Tweedledum are the candidates we must choose between.

Enough, enough already!

My Swiftian solution. (Drum roll please.)

Start on Sept. 1 and end on Oct. 31. Let all the candidates go back to those smoke-filled rooms of yore. Fight the good fight and let the best man emerge. Seven weeks of campaigning are more than enough.

Have political debates between the selected candidates on Oct. 15 with the opposing contestant - two weeks to elections. The public will have plenty of time to mull over the results of the debates in two weeks.

Travel between the states and stump-speeches are now passé. Television and radio and the Internet can be inundated and the candidates can stay in one place and speechify to their hearts' content.

I know I am dreaming and this will never come to pass but for now I dread watching all this foolishness.