Are you a gambler?

If someone called you on the phone and told you that there is unclaimed money somewhere in your name, would you pay $28 for the information? I said, "Yes."

Last year my wife collected $150 in unclaimed money for a course she taught years ago. I remember the TV show The Millionaire when J. Bersford Tipton would call and give the recipient $1 million. I always wondered why he never called me and made me a rich man. Silly daydreams die hard. My parents always told me that the only way to have money is to "earn" it as they used to say in the old E.F. Hutton television ads.

Had I forgotten a few hundred thousand dollars somewhere?

Nevertheless, I waited anxiously for the list of Stanley H. Greenbergs to be sent to me. It arrived last week. Diligently I checked the 36 Stanley Greenbergs (none with H. for my middle initial) and, alas, I was not listed. The letter came from Unclaimed Money Survey and Research, Division of Teleweb Inc. P.O. Box 7, Brittany, LA 70718.

Said I to myself, "Louisiana?" And why a PO Box number?

As I checked the names, I saw that there was a Stanley Greenberg with the same Zip Code number and an address around the corner from my former dental office. Again, I clung to the inane possibility that this could very possibly be me. Self-delusion is both a wonderful and dangerous thing.

For a week I toyed with the idea of going to the given address and making inquiries.

Then in the middle of the night it all came back to me. Many good and bad ideas come in the wee small hours. I had blocked it out! Now I remembered clearly!

On many occasions when I was in practice I would receive a letter marked with my name. When I slit the envelope open, the contents made no sense to me. I rechecked the address and discovered I had opened a letter for a namesake around the corner. I returned the letter.

Many times my counterpart would return letters of mine that he received. I tried but I cannot presently conjure up a mental picture of his face. This interchanging happened many times. He was an insurance agent and we exchanged checks easily.

He is owed wages/payroll/salaries/commissions/pension payments/and distributions from a co-op owner's interest.

I wish I could reach him to tell him of his unclaimed monies, but I cannot. As for me, I tried to call back the number that notified me originally. All I got was "We're sorry the number that you dialed is no longer in service. No further information is available."

I gambled and lost $28. E.F. Hutton was right!