Who doesn't want to be recognized for something positive they have accomplished? No one that I know.

Parents have a duty to elevate and try to uplift their children's accomplishments. Even the near misses deserve a kind word and that "old pat on the back." Unfortunately, sometimes it just slips away in the business of mundane matters or in the heat of the day.

I was reading the Liars Club by Mary Karr and I was transported back to my father's dry goods store in the East Bronx in the year 1946. Reading an autobiography gives the reader an insight into the mind and experience of the author. A trigger may be squeezed to reflect an important episode that was almost forgotten.

It was 1946 and I was a finalist in the Herman Riddler Junior High School Spelling contest. I was in seventh grade and no seventh-grader had ever won the school-wide spelling contest. We were down to two people and my opponent was questioned.

1) A word was given. 2) It was used in a sentence. 3) It was repeated. 4) The participant must spell the word correctly. 5) If they spelled it wrong, the next person must spell it correctly. The word given was principle. My opponent spelled it principal.

"Wrong!" said the moderator. Naturally it was a piece of cake for me. I spelled out principle and I was declared the champion speller of the entire school. Quite an accomplishment for an 11-year-old.

With my faux-gold medal in my hand I rushed home to my parents' store on 174th Street between Bryant and Vyse Avenues in the Bronx. I was bursting with pride when I blurted out my victorious accomplishment: "I won the school-wide spelling contest."

My mother kissed me gently and said "That's nice, now go upstairs and have your milk." My immigrant parents just didn't understand the magnitude of the moment. I felt shortchanged and I began to cry.

Through the years as a father and grandfather I find myself overcomplimenting my children. It is far better to say "nice try" or "nice shot" than to let the moment pass uncommented upon.

Compliments are cost-free but they have a huge value for the recipient.