My father Stanley used to tell a joke about three elderly ladies sitting by the pool in Miami Beach comparing their European vacations:

Mrs. Goldberg proudly stated, "I went to Paris last summer and the shopping was fabulous! I'm thinking of going back to France next year."

Mrs. Schwartz sat uninterested, fanning herself.

Mrs. Rosenblum added, "Well I went to Rome in the spring and the shopping was even better! And the weather you can't believe how beautiful it was. I'm trying Spain next fall."

Again, Mrs. Schwartz sat nonplussed, this time taking a sip of her daiquiri.

Spurned, both Mrs. Goldbaum and Mrs. Rosenblum turned to Mrs. Schwartz and boldly inquired, "So, Mrs. High and Mighty, have you ever been to Europe?"

Mrs. Schwartz calmly replied in a Yiddish accent undented by 50 years in New York and Miami, "Why do I need to go back to Europe? I was born there!"

Unlike Mrs. Schwartz, I was not born in Europe. I was born a new world away in North Shore Hospital in Manhasset. Nevertheless, after many trips to Europe both for pleasure and business, I found myself with an absolutist view of Europe, similar to Mrs. Schwartz's. To me, the European continent could simply be broken down into its composite elements: Beer, wine, cheese, chocolate, churches, soccer and the places where the Jews used to live. Mix in a little cigarette smoke while you are eating and you have the basic European vacation package in any European city from Antwerp to Zagreb.

At least, this is what I used to think. During my recent Honeymoon trip to the Greek Islands with my lovely new wife Jennifer, I realized my terrible mistake. I was basically harboring the attitude of a spoiled New Yorker by impugning an entire continent. There are certain pleasures available in Europe especially designed for the curmudgeonly Yankee traveler abroad. Let me list some of the items which not only enhanced my European vacation, but heightened my appreciation of the luxuries we enjoy here at home in New York.

Whether I was by the pool or in a cafe, I was always excited when I procured a copy of the International Herald Tribune. Imagine a newspaper that extracts only the pertinent portions of The New York Times and the Washington Post and offers them to you in one easily foldable section. Sports, weather, Will Shortz's crossword puzzle, and editorials without having to perform the origami tricks needed to conquer the NYT. It's wonderful and only available at a European newsstand near you.

BBC TV and Rupert Murdoch's Sky TV are also invaluable and enjoyable tools for Americans yearning for the sound of our native tongue before bedtime. American television might have 20 times the number of channels compared with the television in a major European city, but I'll take my newscasters speaking the Queen's English any day of the week compared to the typical American nightly news talking heads.

Next, they serve beer in the McDonalds over there. Now that makes sense! Unfortunately, three out of four Anti-American protests in Europe end up with a ceremonial torching of the local McDonalds franchise so we always grabbed our food to go. But they serve beer I tell you. Beer!

Finally, the item that really changed my mind about European travel was how much I liked speaking to other American tourists in our hotel and on the streets of Greece. Jennifer and I had wonderful conversations with random couples from Indiana, Michigan, and other strange Midwestern places. If I were on a crowded New York subway going to work, I probably would not ask the tourists beside me if they enjoyed their trip to the Empire State building.

In fact, I would probably scowl at them for enjoying themselves while I was commuting. On a cable car in Athens, however, I had no problem striking up a dialogue with the folks from Illinois next to us. I even told them about a wonderful restaurant in Athens that they just had to try. It was called McDonalds and they served beer there. Beer I tell you! And you too Mrs. Schwartz!