The words "We need to redecorate!" are powerful words that strike fear into the hearts and minds of every suburban husband. The statement is followed by the meek reply from the male spouse, "Ah, honey, are you sure we have to redecorate? It's only been two and a half years since we bought all that new furniture."

"Fifteen years is more like it! We are falling behind the times and all of our friends and neighbors are snickering at our beat-up furnishings."

Countered by "But everything is so comfortable now. I have worn the couch pillows into an exact shape of my rear-end and life is so easy. Why complicate it?"

One guess who the winner will be in this argument. Redecorating is an inalienable right guaranteed to all women as stated in the United States Constitution!

With or without an interior decorator, the process has begun. Every weekend is spent in furniture showrooms, Home Expo, Macy's and ABC Carpets. Seeking out the new carpeting, new couches and new tchotchkes goes on at a frightening pace.

Many very important football, basketball, baseball and hockey games are missed while the quest for a new look in the home goes forward like a crusade.

The maddening, exophthalmic glaze in the eye of the wife is countered by a glum resignation in the orbs of her sad, puppy-dog mate.

As the old furniture is carted out the door, the mister silently murmurs a wistful tearful "goodbye." The new furniture must be examined for flaws and breakages.

"It must be perfect. Our home will be a showplace. I am positive that Architectural Digest will do a photo article on the new house."

The new pieces enter. They are like strangers. They don't speak the language of the home. They are tentative as if they have just crossed the Atlantic Ocean in steerage and must accommodate to a new country. They are not yet citizens.

Greenhorns! Outlanders! Foreigners! That is what they are!

Maybe with time and tenderness they can be brought into the flow of the home. They have replaced the old dwellers with brashness and effrontery. Now they must slowly become part of the family. A long, laborious task faces them.

Hopefully and eventually both husband and wife will still be speaking to each other after the redecoration. An important benchmark in the marriage has been passed. Life and love go forth!