Unfulfilled promise was mourned last week. Beautiful youth was suddenly gone. Lives, which had only begun to show the outlines of later contributions to their families, friends and society were ended. The loss was deeply felt everywhere in our land and around the world. The tragic airplane crash of John F. Kennedy, Jr. resulting in his death along with that of his elegant wife and sister-in-law reminded us once again of the fleeting nature of fame, beauty and wealth. These qualities don't necessarily buy longevity. Life follows its own paths of happenstance, even for the most privileged in our society.

In spite of the excessive media hype that automatically takes hold when a Kennedy is involved, there was true sorrow everywhere. John John had won our hearts long ago and John had never lost his allure as a worthy son of a famous father and an adored mother. Testimony from high and low about what a genuine person this nice guy was, was convincing. Convincing even in a media era where you usually can't trust the sources of adulation for one celebrity or another.

There was something special about the young John Kennedy. Something that we're not seeing too often in celebrity role models. He truly seemed to care about relating nicely to people, about appearing in public in a dignified and well spoken manner, and trying to stay out of the kind of trouble many other Kennedys had gotten themselves into.

Everyone says that Jackie was a great mother to John Jr and Caroline. It might have been the kind of message the great Kennedy publicity machine falsely sent out. But our own eyes could see the quality of behavior this big sister and little brother exhibited. The many film clips and home movies we saw confirmed our instinctual liking for them. We watched with sad fascination.

How quaint it sounds in these sleaze-filled times to hear such old fashioned terms describing young people like the John and Jackie Kennedy children. A "good boy," a "sweet young man," a "fine young lady," "close to their mother," "he really cared for people," "she lives a quiet family life."

Imagine, we're desperate for role models and it takes a tragic death to remind us that this "young hunk," whom the girls screamed about, was really someone not superficial, not arrogant, not expectant of fawning behavior, not overly impressed with his still fledgling achievements, respectful of others' opinions, and still hungry to learn. He would bide his time before he entered the stage, front and center. My, you might have even allowed your daughter to marry him.

Some cynics were saying that the nation's grief was not all that sincere. That it was all part of the curiosity seekers sentimentality when anything happens to a Kennedy. They said that the media has again made a big deal out of a tragic event that should not have been elevated to historic importance.

Maybe, but I don't think so.

It's becoming obvious that this society is now hungry for positive heroes and heroines. The US women's soccer team didn't just win the World Soccer Cup, they won the hearts of millions of girls and boys and their moms and pops. Why? Female equality in sports is one of the big reasons. They are really good. That's another reason. But everybody noticed something we haven't seen in a long time. These young women really appear to be wholesome.

It's sad to realize that the moment we gained the wholesome icons of the US soccer team, we lost the most wholesome icon of the Kennedy legacy.

Of course, we grieved and sincerely so. We grieved the loss of the saluting child at his father's funeral, the little tyke under his father's desk, the young lawyer who had trouble passing the bar exam, the young man who said, "I'm not ready for your dreams." "Give me some time to make it as a publisher out on my own." "Maybe I am the person of your dreams, but maybe I'm not." "I don't feel like the anointed one yet." "Let's wait and see."

Our hearts go out to the Kennedy and Bessette families. They lost a lot. Every parent dreads the possibility of one of their children preceding their own deaths. The Bessettes lost two. In the end we can only contemplate the promise of these young people, celebrate the good life they lived and hope their lives and their deaths teach something to those of us who survive.

What might that lesson be? On the negative side. Be careful when you're young not to take unacceptable risks with your life and the lives of your loved ones. That flight at night was a dangerous one and should not have been attempted. The many teenagers and young adults who tempt the fates everyday in potentially dangerous vehicles or sports machines is something that we must get much more concerned about.

On the positive side, having a dignified, purposeful life when you are in the glare of the public's eye should not be the exception but the rule. Charles Barkley, the NBA basketball star said loudly, "I ain't no role model" and then lived his raucous life in public to prove it. John F. Kennedy, Jr. never talked about being a role model, he just lived his life knowing that he was one.