The Petrovic family wants to thank the Oyster Bay-East Norwich community for the loving care they gave to them during the recent loss of 9-year-old Anthony Petrovic. When Vernon fourth-grader Anthony Petrovic, the younger son of Stanka and Emil Petrovic of East Norwich, was diagnosed with spinal cancer the Oyster Bay-East Norwich school community gathered around to support him and his family.

Ms. Petrovic said, "He was just such a special little boy, and there are so many stories about him. A mother working on the Vernon Year Book was here yesterday. She said when she met Anthony during October and introduced him to her two sons, he extended his hand and said 'how nice to meet you.' On Sunday, he was praying for everyone, for his teachers and friends. He was loved so much and he loved everybody."

She said, "The school teachers and the community did so much for Anthony, I want to recognize the beautiful things these people did for us. It was unheard of. There were too many people involved to name everyone." Yet she tried to mention all those people who made such a difference in Anthony's and the family's life. "I want to tell about how much of a difference that made," she said. Vernon PTA vice president Lisa Trapani-Ruzzier, and Anthony's class chair was the coordinator, she in addition to Principal Allison Brown. "Lisa just took over from the first news and did so many things for us. She coordinated all the help and support. And, it is still going on. I think this community should recognize who these people are, and I am honored by their efforts," Ms. Petrovic said.

The Petrovics are from Croatia and came to the United States in 1986 and moved to Oyster Bay in 1995. They have two older children, Filip, 23 and Paula, who attends college in Ithaca. In 2007 Anthony had a successful cervical spine surgery. For that summer, his cancer was in remission, he even performed in a recital with his sister, but in September, it returned. That was when the school took over the responsibility of being the helping hands for the Petrovics. After September, everything happened so fast, she said.

"One of the things the teachers did was buy a round trip plane ticket for Paula to come home to see her brother. She was to go back and return for Christmas but Anthony was rapidly going down and so she stayed until now," Ms. Petrovic said.

"The teachers also arranged for us to go to New York City and see the tree in Rockefeller Plaza. And he left us the Wednesday after that," she said. But not before a visit to Anthony at the Vernon School on Monday by Vinnie Testaverde and his wife. The only thing Anthony was unhappy about was that because of the chemo his cheeks were puffy and he couldn't smile, his mother said.

"During his last two days, when he was fading away our home was constantly filled with teachers, parents and children who would quietly enter to say goodbye to Anthony, and whispered into his ears how much they loved him. One of the teachers delivered a big baseball-decorated Christmas tree that we put by his bedside. He left us on December 5th, surrounded by the love of his family and community that he belonged to.

"Mr. Daniel Friedman, Oyster Bay High School music director, together with the Friends of the OBHS Performing Arts Center organized to have a piano moved from the high school to St. Dominic's Church so that Paula, Anthony's sister was able to play during the service. St. Dominic Church gave a tribute to Anthony by having a service on Sunday with all of the priests attending. The Oyster Bay High School Chamber Singers contributed to the service beautifully. There was also a police escort arranged. The reception after the funeral was arranged by the East Norwich Fire Department. Mr. Todd Cronnin and local families' love and support continue," said Ms. Petrovic.

She said, "A special thanks goes to Allison Brown and all the faculty and staff, parents and children of the Roosevelt and Vernon Schools.

"Special thanks to Mrs. Debra Kienke and her amazing acts of kindness and support.

"Special thanks to Lisa Ruzzier.

"Special thanks to the Marino and Romeo families.

"Special thanks to Mr. Louis G. Pillari of the Oyster Bay Funeral home. His professionalism and kindness made it so much more bearable.

"Special thanks to the Atlantic Steamer Fire Company for brining Santa to Anthony.

"Again, thank you Oyster Bay-East Norwich community for taking care of us. We are so grateful to all, for everything you did. We will remember your generosity always. There are stars that you can only see when it is dark. Remembering the darkest time of our lives - you will always be those stars." In a letter she wrote telling their story, she ended with, "Our love to all of you. The Petrovic Family."

Anthony's obituary in the Oyster Bay Enterprise Pilot read: "Anthony Petrovic, age 9, of Oyster Bay, died peacefully at home on Dec. 5, 2007. Beloved son of Emil and Stanka Petrovic. Loving brother of Filip and Paula. Also survived by many loving relatives and friends. Arrangements were made by the Oyster Bay Funeral Home. Funeral service at St. Dominic's RC Church. Interment Locust Valley Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, donations to Sunrise Day Camp, c/o Friedberg JCC, 15 Neil Ct., Oceanside, NY 11572 (www.sunrisedaycamp.org) would be appreciated. [The camp is for children ages 3-16 with cancer, on a 300-acre wooded site that is free to all children being treated for cancer.]

Anthony loved giving and getting hugs. Teacher John Youngs, knowing that, had a sign made that the Petrovic's have over their entry way door saying "Just one more hug." Every night, before Anthony went to sleep he would always call out to his mother for "just one more hug."

In September the family reached out to the school for help. She said, "I had to go to work, and the teachers would come over and babysit. They would take turns. Someone would come from 10 to 11 a.m. and another from 11 a.m. to noon."

In talking to Ms. Petrovic, she explained that Thursdays were chemo days at the Winthrop-University Hospital Children's Cancer Center. Vernon Principal Allison Brown, teacher John Youngs, student teacher Rachel Burkel and school psychologist Cara Rebby went there to keep Anthony company. They made those days special for him. Out of one of those days came his 'island' idea. He would imagine a place to go to be happy and at peace. He challenged the students in his class to close their eyes and imagine the perfect island. They did and created a book called "Anthony's Island." It is filled with images of islands including explanations about why Anthony would love their islands. It is part of the memorabilia the Petrovics have collected from the students, including five baskets of original cards and drawings.

"On Thursday nights, after chemo, they would have groceries and flowers delivered to my door - and it goes on and on - the wonderful things they did," said Ms. Petrovic.

"Lisa Ruzzier was the coordinator of the help. They were brainstorming left and right to see what else they could do. There were things going on I wasn't even aware of.

"Anthony was put into Special Ed when he went back to school in September. He had a slight disability from earlier surgeries and Mrs. Kincaid said they were brainstorming to see what they could do so that he would be confident and happy.

"And as for me leaving him in school - I was confident that it was like leaving him with the best friend of my mother. The day before he died, Vinnie Testaverde and his wife came to the school and saw Anthony. He said it was a good day. On Wednesday, he left us."

Ms. Petrovic said Vernon Principal Allison Brown was inspirational. One of the teachers wrote a poem. First-grade teacher Stacey Cowan's poem is called Anthony. It was read at the funeral service. Ms. Petrovic said the school and the site-based team is thinking of doing more to remember Anthony. She said, "These people are extraordinary. This community is one of a kind. I'm blessed to be here. If I had to go through this, there is no better way. Not even in my own home town [in Croatia]. There is no other place to be. I will spend my time trying to give back to the community. I am organizing a scholarship fund in memory of Anthony."

She said even Anthony's doctor, Mark Weinblatt, MD, Chief, Division of Pediatric Hematology/Oncology and Director of the Cancer Center for Kids at Winthrop-University hospital, recognized this exceptional community. Ms. Petrovic said, "Dr. Weinblatt said in so many years of working with children with cancer he has never seen teachers and principals coming to the chemo treatments. Ms. Brown sat for four hours watching a movie, played a game, did art and just being there."

There were so many people Ms. Petrovic wanted to thank. The same was true in talking to Lisa Trapani-Ruzzier. She too became close to the family. "I know when they were told there was nothing more to do for him, Allison Brown was with her.

"The Romeo family with the twins Samantha and Alicia were really Anthony's best friends and it was nice to know his heart beat fast at the sight of a pretty girl. Anthony found love at an early age.

"They were great with him," said Lisa.

Ms. Petrovic said when Anthony was in a coma, the last days, the girls came and held his hands and talked to him and believed he giggled in response.

Lisa and Ms. Petrovic also mentioned the Marino family who were regular visitors with Julia and Krista Marino.

Ms. Ruzzier said, "Jen Romeo and Lynn Marino were wonderful moms. They were just great and great friends to Stanka and terrific to Anthony. People were not turned away with the diagnosis. They were good people who say they could help someone who needed help." She added Jen Balone to the list, for her thoughtfulness.

"There is so much to tell. Stanka is remarkable in my eyes. She is not bitter, she is thankful for the nine years she got to have with him. And they were filled with medical procedures, 20 MRIs and numerous cancer treatments and hope and despair and every emotion you can feel, but she was remarkable, as she still is."

People really responded to Anthony. Ms. Ruzzier said "The Testaverdes came to Vernon on the last good day Anthony had. He came to school in a wheelchair for about an hour. He went home happy but then went into a coma."

Ms. Ruzzier was concerned saying, "Kids will read this, particularly his classmates. They still love him very much." They have left his seat in the classroom empty.

This year the Vernon and Roosevelt PTAs joined and are now the OB-EN PTA. Tammy Moore and Chris Reynolds are the co-presidents. Lisa Trapani-Ruzzier is the vice president and chair of the class the late Anthony Petrovic was in at Vernon. Each class has a chair and a class mom who takes care of the parties and getting the teacher a present. The journey to help the Petrovic family has been one that has rewards for the helpers.

OBEN PTA co-president Tammy Moore said, "The family were very private for a long time about their needs. At that point the PTA is restrained under their guidelines and couldn't contribute to the family financially. Instead we formed a helping-hand committee that could fundraise and generate income."

She said, "At Vernon the student council took on the work of a Kick-Ball-Athon. Every child in each grade took part and then there was a Kickball-a-thon between the grades. All in all they raised almost $4,000. It was a help since there were a lot of bills coming in."

Ms. Moore said, "The teachers at both schools were unbelieveable." She said, "Being a parent in this area, we can send our children to any school of our choice. I chose the public school system. I have one child at Vernon and one at Roosevelt. Not only do I feel they are getting a wonderful education, but I put them in the hands of the teachers at 9 a.m. and I know they adore the children as if they were their own."

The teachers were wonderful in their involvement in the cause. Ms. Moore said, "Teachers at both schools were sending meals to the family at night. Teachers at Vernon took turns keeping him after school when his mother went to work. Many made home visits. Teachers from the Roosevelt School sat with him and supported him. They are things you won't get anywhere else.

"One parent, Lisa Ruzzier, whose daughter was in Anthony's class, took a leadership role and organized everything. She was with him to the end. She was at his house when he passed," said Ms. Moore.

"She formed a committee so that numerous parents could take turns and cook meals for the family; some did grocery shopping for them. Lisa and myself took on a project at Roosevelt. We rented a Wishing Well and sent letters home to the parents to see if the children wanted to put their pennies and loose change into the Wishing Well. It was amazing to see these kids dropping in their pennies and change. Teachers would walk the kids to the Wishing Well and they opened their envelopes and Zip-Lock bags and dropped the pennies in. The outside of the well was decorated with the kids' handprints.

"It was unbelieveable to see how much the community did.

Ms. Moore said, "We've gotten so many phone calls from people wanting to volunteer and bring food or to do anything they can to make these people comfortable. I didn't know the family at all but it was good to see the community coming together to support them.

"Vernon Principal Allison Brown and his teacher, Ms. D'Orio, and Lisa Ruzzier tried to make every day as special as they could. The week before he passed the teachers had a collection to fly his sister home from college so she could be with him.

"At Roosevelt they had a bake sale and every teacher contributed by baking and each child was asked to bring in a dollar and if not we all gave them one for the cake and raised a few thousand dollars. The parents orchestrated the day. The Roosevelt teachers did all the baking."

She remembered again, "The phone calls never ended, with people asking how they could help out."

Ms. Moore said, "I wrote a letter to the parents, especially in light of what you hear about the district. There is so much negativity about the schools. You don't hear the positives. I don't think people know how much the teachers do. But they were involved and they didn't need to do. Even teachers who didn't have him as a student.

"I feel very confident about choosing Oyster Bay schools. The children walk into a very welcoming and loving place. It's the emotional aspect that is especially important. My youngest is my baby, and when I drop her off, I know she's in good hands for the day. It makes me feel proud and comfortable to be a parent in the Oyster Bay School District.

"Anthony had a final wish. It was to take his class down to the Roosevelt beach and release balloons. It was all set up. Allison Brown had the bus and was taking the kids to the beach and to have lunch together at McDonald's but he died the day before."

"It all seemed to happen so quickly. By that time, he went downhill pretty quickly."

But Anthony is being remembered. "Anthony was an amazing artist. They are taking his art design and using that as the Vernon T-shirt and all the funds will be donated to a charity, possibly in his name," said Ms. Moore.

When asked how this affected the other children in the schools, Ms. Moore said, "It was very difficult. I don't know if some understood and some didn't. But each class did cards and letters that were displayed at the funeral home. And the school took social workers from all of the schools, the high school, Vernon and Roosevelt to make sure the children could speak to someone. It's different when it's an older person. When it's a child you think 'why them.' Even, some kids were afraid if they got sick they would die. I think the social workers could relate to them on their own terms. The school made sure that they were supportive. The social workers were available in every class.

"Especially in the class with the children that were with him, when he came back to school and saw the chair empty.

"But there was a social worker in that class every day...

"We all were affected. I remember walking home that night and I saw my 5-year-old and said to myself, 'She's here.' At that time it wasn't worth yelling over spilled milk. I didn't need anything more than to know she was all right."

Ms. Moore said that was the lesson all the parents learned. "They are with us every day. We can give them that good night kiss. Some parents aren't able to do that anymore," she said.

Oyster Bay-East Norwich Vice President Lisa Trapani-Ruzzier is also the chair of the late Anthony Petrovic's class at Vernon and it was she who became the coordinator of efforts on his behalf.

She said, "In October, a letter from Principal Allison Brown was sent home to parents. It said Anthony had been missing so much school and was sick. The children were aware of it and a letter was sent to parents explaining that he was sick. I thought, 'isn't there something I could do?' so I contacted Allison Brown and Mrs. D'Orio, his fourth-grade teacher. They suggested to ask his mother. She, Stanka Petrovic, was just the most gracious, beautiful, graceful person who was obviously going through a terrible time.

"So I thought of some fundraisers. We didn't know he was that sick and would die so quickly.

"The first fundraiser was done by the Rough Riders Football team. They donated their concession stand proceeds and also had a raffle with the proceeds going to Anthony. It was really for whatever they needed, for bills or to go out to eat or whatever they wished to help them when caring for a sick child.

"The most remarkable part was I put out a container at the concession stand and strangers would drop in hundred dollar bills and hundred dollar checks. One stranger gave me four tickets to an Islanders game. My next-door neighbor gave me a check for a couple of hundred dollars. People were dropping hundred dollar bills.

"At the Roosevelt School we rented a wishing well and all the children came in with their spare change and filled it up. The children from kindergarten to second grade added notes on the bag or put in a piece of paper with a note.

"At the same time Vernon had a Kick-Ball-athon and they raised a lot of money and gave it through one of their clubs."

Ms. Ruzzier too was concerned that someone would be left out of the thank you mentions. "I made notes to myself, it would be horrible to leave someone or something out. With respect to all the fundraising, Roosevelt Principal Gina Faust was just terrific, as was Mrs. Kolb, a teacher, who was the one who had the idea of a bake sale. The teachers baked the cakes and the children bought them, whether they had money or not. That raised several hundred dollars for Anthony.

"Vernon Principal Allison Brown moved heaven and earth to make Anthony and his family get through the best way. She was just absolutely instrumental in doing everything she could think of to make the family's life better before he died and even after he died.

"It's unbelievable. The teachers put money together to get a limousine to bring the family to New York to see the tree. The Vernon teachers got a ticket to fly her sister home from college. She is taking a music program, and is a brilliant pianist. She paid a most beautiful tribute to him playing on the piano. It was the most moving moment at the service. Filip Petrovic, his brother, wrote a beautiful poem for Anthony.

"The Petrovics have unbelievable courage and strength.

"There are more teachers to remember for bringing food to the family and for being company for Anthony: Ms. Cowan, Ms. Sass, Ms. Murray, Mr.Youngs, and gym teacher Ms. Cerrone. They would come and visit him and do all kinds of things. They were like family members, they were like parents to him, too."

Ms. Ruzzier said, "Then he was on his death bed and I was going to the funeral home to make the arrangements and Lou Pillari gave everything at cost. They were caring and wonderful. While I was there he received an anonymous donation of $10,000 for the funeral. Mrs. Debra Kienke, a school administrator who lost her child to cancer, paid the rest of the funeral costs and for the cemetery. People just came out of the woods. I was tripping over my own feet.

"Todd and Pauline Cronin were so helpful. They got people to rake the leaves at their house. They got the East Norwich Fire Department to donate the reception at the fire house. The firemen donated their time to serve the food and beverages. The Cronins got the food and liquor.

"Many of the Boy Scouts came dressed in their uniforms. They presented an honorary flag to the family at the burial. Scott Scognomiglia was the honor guard at the casket. He stood perfectly still for two hours in his Boy Scout uniform.

"I'd be very remiss not to mention the students in Ms. D'Orio's class. They were so loving and kind to Anthony. They still write letters to him and have a bin for the letters. His desk is empty as a memorial. They were kind and miss him a lot.

"He was a tremendous artist and talented beyond his years. At Vernon they are doing a T-shirt with one of his art works that will be sold as a fundraiser. Some of his pictures will be in the Vernon Year Book.

"And, the First Presbyterian Church donated $1,000. Pastor Jeffrey Prey said the board of deacons had received a gift to be used to help families in need. As the board discussed it, Mrs. Edna Standerwick, a teacher at Roosevelt, suggested the Petrovics. "It was the first use of the gift," said Mr. Prey.

"Parents dropped off food, by the platter, and made sure they had food. So many people did so much. His mom wanted him to see The Lion King. I bought tickets but that was the day he died. Everyone tried to make his wishes come through.

"Stanka, a nurse, wants to give back in appreciation of what has been given to them. She is going on a mission to help children in the Philippines on Feb. 14."

[Mr. Petrovic said, "If it is going to help Stanka and help other people, of course I don't mind." Ms. Petrovic works for a mobile breast cancer examination unit.]

Ms. Ruzzier said, "She is taking her grief and turning it into help for others. She is going to help the poor families in the Philippines. She is just unbelievable and wants to start a fund in Anthony's name for art and music."

The Petrovics want to help sixth- and twelfth-grade students in art and music by creating a scholarship in the district.

Ms. Ruzzier said, "The Oyster Bay Funeral Home has a website where you can light a candle in Anthony's name and write something, and it will never go away. The website will remain over the years with the names and sayings and thoughts left there. I know Stanka clicks on every once in a while to check. I feel like I've known her for years, although we didn't know each other before."

Ms. Ruzzier said, "Nine-year-old boys shouldn't be dying of cancer. Stanka was a stranger to me but I felt she needed me and I was honored. She is the one who was remarkable. She was hopeful but realistic also."

Ms. Ruzzier also thanked her family for letting her spend time helping the Petrovics. "My kids were cute. My husband said 'go and do whatever needs to be done.' They were my support group. I couldn't have helped Anthony without them. My family took care of me.

"People were trying to help me, too. One brought over bagels and doughnuts on a morning when I needed them. It was great. It was amazing from the anonymous donation for the funeral to the hundred dollar bills donated at the football games. This community is absolutely generous. This is a special place to live. I've been here for four-and-a-half years. It's like living in a small town while living in a big city. Everyone is warm and friendly. I couldn't be happier. It's a great place to live. It reminds me of Mayberry, everyone seems to know everybody," she said. When the need is there, the community responds.

In talking to Lisa Trapani-Ruzzier and Tammy Moore and Stanka Petrovic about Anthony Petrovic, everyone said, "Talk to Allison Brown." Ms. Brown is the principal of the James H. Vernon School.

She said, "When Ms. Petrovic came to my office in September, we didn't know the severity of his illness and about the chemo. But I said for the rest of his life, we will break every rule and help. My heart breaks so much. It looks as if we are trying to get a thank you and no one does. This is what educators do. This established what I am as a principal. There are rules you have to break for every person. With that we fund raised."

The money was a way for people to be involved, to show their care. Ms. Brown said the money was for Anthony to enjoy every minute of his life. It wasn't cash, but a comfort. It was the way people expressed their love and concern and was a hug from the community.

Ms. Brown said, "We fund raised to say to them, 'go on a trip'. 'Enjoy the time you have together.' We got a limo for them to go to the city, and a plane ride for the daughter to come home. They did it because they wanted to be part of the support for the family. A teacher even picked up their dry cleaning.

"I went to the chemo with Anthony. Ms. Petrovic had to work. [Ms. Petrovic explained she had to keep up her medical insurance.]

"I said, 'tell me the chemo dates and someone will be there. We'll make it the best time of his life. And, that is what he said to me, 'This is like the best afternoon of my life.' We took turns, myself, teacher John Youngs and Cara Rebby, school psychologist. Ms. Petrovic had to work and this is what we decided to do to help. It took so much to get her to agree to let us help.

"Teachers went to the house at lunch time. His favorite food was McDonald's so that was easy to get. This was about - we are all in this together - you are suffering, we are suffering. I said, 'let me hook you up with people who care and I gave her the name of Lisa Ruzzier, I was sure she would tell me what was needed and she did and everyone cooperated. We broke the rules, but he deserved it," said Ms. Brown.

After Anthony died, Ms. Brown said, "I had to think of every child in the school. Every time he came in he was a celebrity, and he wanted to come to school. The staff was emotionally attached to him. They worried about Stanka. In the end, I mourned a week or two later. You think of everyone else first," she said.

"It was a community coming together. Debbie Kienke, OB-EN director of special ed was very involved. Her husband's business wanted to pay for the cemetery plot. She too had a child who died of cancer and understood. Stanka agreed to talk to her and Debbie was on the line in a minute. Even when she didn't ask, I knew what she needed.

"This really sums it up - that we want our kids to be smart and be good at math but what really matters is our kids and their families," said Ms. Brown.

But there was more to do after Anthony died. Ms. Brown sent a letter home acknowledging his passing and that, "He did not recover. Anthony died. That means that he will not be coming back to us; we will not be seeing him again. It is all right if we feel sad about that, because we will miss Anthony, and we will be sorry that he is not with us to share what we are doing, which he was such a real part of in the past." She said now they will remember him with love, that their memories of him will live. That they will see him "With the eyes of memory."

She knew she had to acknowledge his death, allow them to mourn and to know he person lives in our memories. To ensure the children got through the mourning process she called on Matt Brown, social worker. He came in and spoke to the staff and organized the team. "Dr. Rebby and I went to every single class. It was my obligation to be in every classroom to tell every student what happened. I felt as the mother of everyone here. I told everyone it was time to cry. Then crisis teams were set up with all the social workers and guidance counselors from the high school to help the children. Kids were saying, "I wish I could have been nicer to him." And some said, "now I'm going to be nicer to another kid". It changed their lives. No matter if you are in third grade or sixth grade, they will never forget that a child died in their elementary school. If they remember it, it will be devastating. You only have one chance to make it right for everybody," she said.

Thinking of what was accomplished she said, "But the community response. This is an amazing place. I feel I was meant to be here. [Ms. Brown was the principal of the Roosevelt School.]"

Ms. Brown too wanted people to be recognized. She said, "She counted on me and two teachers, gym teacher Dawn Cerrone and Cara Rebby. They took her everywhere I needed someone to help. Then Ms. Petrovic called and said, 'the doctor got the results and wants to talk to me on the phone'. She said she wanted to talk to him in person. I asked if someone was going with her, and she said she was going alone. I said we'll go together. I firsthand watched as a doctor told a mother 'it was over.'"

But the end was special. "Vinnie Testeverde came to the school to see Anthony. He gave him a signed football and they took photographs of Anthony, Vinnie and some of his classmates. The next day she asked me to come to the house and I did. It was something you just can't describe. I love her.

"Now, we were there before and we have to be there after," said Ms. Brown. Ms. Petrovic, a nurse, is working to heal herself. She will leave on Feb. 14 to go to the Philippines to work with children. "She's trying to change the world," said Ms. Brown.

A sweet, bright light

Glowing

Like the Sun

A heart of gold

Like leaves on the peak of autumn.

Creative, artistic,

Optimistic

An old soul that will always soar!

Bringing joy to others,

And so much more ...

Like a bird in flight,

We look up to you

Each day and night

And admire your strength,

Your love of life

Family and friends.

Anthony,

The soul that never ends ...

Your perspective

Your graciousness

Your kindness

Your self awareness.

You are a tree

Bringing life to those around you,

Revealing your colorful leaves.

Standing strong,

Growing into something beautiful.

Your arms,

Always,

Extended to others.

Even when the leaves are

Falling

Off

Of

You ...

A new sense of the giving tree,

You are

Anthony.