I feel as though I waited forever to see this movie. I followed its progress from the very first report of it. I believed it to be a very brave endeavor by Mel Gibson and the people with whom he worked, especially with all the negativity surrounding it. I don't know what my expectations were, but I reviewed the Passion narratives many times, and knew it would be difficult to watch. I do remember thinking that I had wished it to be in English, because I thought I'd miss something while reading subtitles. I certainly didn't miss a thing, though, and my worst imaginings couldn't have touched what I experienced and it was an experience.

The film is certainly brutal and gory. But then the Passion was brutal and gory. I don't know how I could have expected it to be any different from what I had read and studied. I had heard that the film could or even would foster anti-Semitism, so I paid careful attention. I couldn't find a single scene in the movie that would lead me to hate anyone. Hate sin, yes. And though the references to Christ's teachings of love during his ministry were few, they were certainly loud and clear. It was depicted in this manner to show just how much Jesus loves us. We are expected to attempt to love in the same way, as Jesus said to the apostles at the Last Supper, "Love one another as I have loved you."(Jn13:34-35)

"Love one another as I have loved you," (Jn13:34-35) I find this very difficult to accomplish, especially when there is some cost to me, be it emotional, material or financial. To see what Jesus was willing to endure shames me.

"Love your enemies"? (Mt5:43-48) This is so far from our "me" culture; it's hard to believe anyone even says it any more. "Love your enemies"? (Mt5:43-48) I find it a difficult commandment to follow. This movie brings it to the forefront of my mind because I have trouble not swearing if someone cuts ahead in a grocery store line or drives erratically! These people aren't even my enemies. Neither are people who may inadvertently hurt my feelings, who may be someone who loves me and someone whom I love in return, my enemies. For that moment of hurt, I am all too ready to ignore this teaching. However, when I looked upon Jesus at the pillar being scourged, I thought I might find it easier. When I gazed upon Jesus on the cross as he asked the Father's forgiveness of those who were torturing and killing him, I thought perhaps I'd find a way to forgive some of the little things that occur in my life.

While Jesus was in the Garden at Gethsemane, I reflected on my Lenten promises, one is to pray for drivers at whom I would ordinarily yell. I thought how incredibly insignificant a promise that is compared to the amazing love and sacrifice displayed by Jesus and the Father.

When Jesus fell on the walk to Golgotha and Mary went to Him, I thought about my children and how I would act seeing my children suffer in such an awful way. Remember the scene when the child Jesus skinned his knee and Mary came running, saying, "I am here"? How many times have I done that with my children? How many times have I wanted to take away their pain and take it to myself to spare them? Am I able to surrender my will to the Lord in the total and complete way Mary had done from a very young age? What faith!

"Love your enemies"? (Mt5:43-48) The tax collectors of that time, the criminals, gossips, cheats, power-hungry, tyrannical bosses and politicians, thieves of goods and love, even myself at my worst. Do I love all of these? Am I able to love these? Do I try? Certainly Jesus displayed this love in the most dramatic way during His Passion. Do I conduct myself in that manner? Do I even allow someone to pull ahead of me on the expressway? Do I have a kind word for the slow-moving person ahead of me on a line, or a parent with rowdy children in church? Am I able to forgive small slights from my family and friends? Love my enemy indeed.

"A good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep"(Jn 10:9-11) and "Greater love has no man than to lay down his life for a friend." (Jn 19:17-27) Am I willing to lay down my life? Am I even willing to go a bit out of my way to make someone else's life a bit easier, more happy, less mundane? I like to think so, but I can remember many times when I've said "no" to something simple and easy because it was a bit inconvenient. I can even remember times when 15 minutes one way or another wouldn't have changed my life, but may have meant the world to someone else. While being horribly tortured, Jesus reflects on his time with the apostles, remembering His admonition to "Love one another as I have loved you." (Jn15:12)

Pilate was portrayed more sympathetically than I imagined him from the narratives. He did try to refuse to condemn Jesus, as is written. He did wash his hands of the entire affair in full view of the people, but he didn't stop anything. This was a cowardly response to the events unfolding before him. I remember thinking Pilate was like a teenager, experiencing incredible peer pressure. And again I thought of my children. Temptations are put in their way almost every waking hour of their lives and they have to make decisions about evil deeds very often. I hope I've shown them that courageous choices are life-affirming ones and ultimately the best way to live. In the end, Pilate succumbed, so I'll be praying even more for the teenagers of the world every day.

An interesting fact recorded in scripture and shown in The Passion is that the only people who stayed with Jesus throughout the entire ordeal were His mother, His apostle John and former prostitute, Mary Magdalene. Two of the three, obviously, are women. That makes me rethink my role as a Christian. Do I live my life in submission to the Will of God? Am I able to surrender control the way both Marys did? Do I actually evangelize by living the Gospels?

"Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." More heartening words were never spoken. If my Lord, Jesus is able to pray for and forgive his tormentors, I can be forgiven anything. I can only offer praise to God and pray in thanksgiving for such benevolence. I rejoice in the forgiveness of my sins and the redemption of mankind by this life-giving, selfless, incredibly painful act of the Father and his Son.

Was there a derogatory depiction of Jews? I don't believe so. Everyone, including Jesus, was Jewish or Pagan. In that time and place, there were no other kinds of people!

What caused this great sacrifice undertaken by the Lord? Sin did - hatred, greed, egotism, selfishness, laziness, love of anger, love of money and things, need for and acquisition of power for personal gain only, neglect, cruelty, impatience and intolerance and, most importantly, failure to share the love with which the Good Lord gifted us.

Do I think Jews killed Jesus? I absolutely do not. I think my sins were the scourges and nails to Jesus. In the movie, Jesus flashes back to the Last Supper where He said, "This is the cup of my blood for the redemption of the world." (Mt26:26-28) My faith has always taught me that the sins of the world are what led to the Passion and death of Jesus.

Alicia Parendo