Local officials rarely break into the big-time media spotlight. When it happens, there is strong pressure to perform for the cameras, to look decisive and active. Recently the Suffolk County Legislature passed a well-intentioned, well-publicized, but poorly worded bill to regulate the use of portable telephones while driving. The cameras and wire service reporters are gone, leaving Long Islanders to deal with a messy piece of legislation.

As this is being written, Suffolk County Executive Robert Gaffney is indicating that he will sign the bill into law, but confusion over what the proposal means, intends and would actually do is setting in. It may create new, unintentional hassles.

"My bill would ban the use of handheld cell phones while driving," said Legislator Jon Cooper, the bill's primary sponsor in a succinct television soundbite.

Well, no it doesn't.

Police will have "no problem" enforcing the law, says the County Police Chief Philip Robilotto, "because 'there is a presumption of use, if we see a cell phone up to your ear.'"

That's not what the legislation says, Chief.

Not only are there eight specific exceptions to holding and using a cell phone while driving, including emergency calls and calls to a physician or health clinic, but the legislation's language allows one to dial or to answer the phone while holding it. According to the sponsor, answering or dialing are legal, as long as one doesn't speak.

Presumably, police officers will be able to tell who is speaking and who is only listening and who is talking to the hospital to get the status of Uncle Joe and his operation (an exempted phone-holding behavior) as cars move by at highway speeds. Things are going to get ugly very quickly, as a lot of motorists are going to be pulled over and perhaps fined wrongfully ($150 per), with the onus on them to prove their innocence. Chillingly, this new law may legitimize the detention of certain profiled drivers which is so historic and prevalent in some communities.

Years of pre-dawn driving up and down the Thruway on legislative business helped me to learn the arts of one-handed dressing, eating and radio adjustment. Maybe you're gifted like that, too, as are experienced multitaskers like pilots, astronauts and school teachers. But even I will not answer my portable phone in traffic, because intense conversation does cause attention drift. I support the principle of the new Suffolk legislation, as does the portable phone industry (they get to sell all those $10-$15 hands-free accessories).

But I don't support sloppy legislation which might jam up a lot of innocent people and cause a flood of lawsuits. Other jurisdictions currently considering similar proposals need to work out improvements before copying Suffolk's first try.