As the 2007-2008 holiday season has drawn to a close, I don't wish to reopen the question of whether the New Hyde Park-Garden City Park School District calls its December concert a holiday concert or a Christmas concert. I have made it clear in the past - I think we should call it a holiday concert, to be as inclusive and welcoming as possible.

What must be addressed is our community's civility in public discourse, in essence, how we treat one another.

After 10 years of letters/phone calls in August 2007, I went to the board of education meeting to make an argument about the title of our Christmas concert. I went there in good faith and in the spirit that reasonable people can disagree over a topic - even passionately - and still call each other "friend," and "neighbor."

What I saw - reflected in the faces of my neighbors and heard in the voices of those in attendance, including people I have known for years - was ugly, hurtful and blatantly prejudicial.

Perhaps perceiving that those who called for change were there to attack a religion, a way of life, perhaps even the American way of life, we were verbally ridiculed, booed, and made to feel as though we weren't really - I, after 15 years living and raising my children here - welcome in New Hyde Park.

I went to make a point about being open, welcoming and inclusive to all residents of our community. In response, we were told that we just didn't belong - that we were outsiders in our community.

We need to ask why no one - on the majority side of the audience, on the board, or clergy in their pulpit - spoke up to defend our right to be heard and Dr. Cohn's right to do her job without outrageous accusations or prejudicial remarks? I don't mean defend our position on the concert, but I mean defend us against the hurtful insinuation that we were out to hurt New Hyde Park, that we were immoral and were outsiders?

To those who reacted with such indignation, I can only ask you to think about why you responded the way you did. I ask that you ask yourself whether an example founded in prejudice and intolerance, is what you want to set for your children. I ask that you ask yourself: were you proud of what you felt, said and did? Was it really OK to take pride in the fact that the Advisory Committee, an open forum for all sides to discuss, was abandoned?

Although I cannot speak for Dr. Cohn, by her "retiring," I believe we lost much more than a job or a light in that room. We have been personally and deeply hurt as a community by what happened throughout this ordeal. I'll never forget what went on and hope you don't either.

After 10 years and two children through the NHP-GCP District, we proudly attended our final December concert, since our youngest will graduate this June. One can only take solace in that NHP Memorial High School, from the "holiday concert" or programs teaching about prejudice and intolerance as unacceptable, is sensitive to its diverse community. Shouldn't we demand the same for our elementary schools and want nothing less for our community?

Leslie Fridman