By Stanley Greenberg
Is this what our Founding Fathers of 1789 had in mind? What would George Washington say about our current crop of presidential hopefuls?
Bill Bradley: Basketball hadn't been invented in Springfield, MASS by James Naismith yet. A great one-hand set shot would cut no ice in Philadelphia.
Donald Trump: Skyscrapers weren't even possible to construct in 1789. In those days, Atlantic City casinos and Miss America contests were not political assets.
Warren Beatty: Hollywood movie stars did not make much of an impact on the 13 original colonies. Undoubtedly, they never saw any of Warren's movies.
Jesse Ventura: Wrestling was a sport that only Greek Olympians engaged in -- not gorgeous blondes, insane villains or tattooed hulks.
Texas Governor George W. Bush: The only George W. the Founding Fathers thought about was the father of our country, the Virginia farmer, the commanding general of the armies, Martha's husband, George Washington.
Former senator and vice president, Al Gore: Even in their three-cornered hats and powdered wigs, the Founding Fathers were looser and cooler than Al.
Ross Perot: A billion-dollar computer fortune would not sway our idealistic forefathers into putting the entire Senate and House of Representatives on the Internet.
Pat Buchanan: An opportunistic, deep political thinker and television personality who has never been wrong might be in trouble with the Founders.
As we look back on their brilliant work of forming a government, a system of checks and balances, a Constitution, a judicial system and an executive system, we bow deeply and humbly to the Founding Fathers of the late 18th Century.
They were men of great foresight, but I don't think even they could foresee in 1789 the current crop of presidential candidates for the year 2000.
I, myself, am staggered by this strange, eclectic, off-the-wall group of candidates, and I was born on Oct. 13, 1934.