Experience has taught me that children will usually tell you the truth --- even if you prefer that they didn't. I present the following evidence for your consideration.

I'm driving my oldest son, Aaron, to school one morning --- he was in third grade at the time --- when I decide to sing along with a song playing on the car radio. Aaron immediately complains about the quality of my vocal efforts.

I pause from my harmonizing to explain that I "have to sing because I have a song in my heart." To which Aaron replies, "Dad, it must be in your heart because it's not in your throat." Ouch!

A few years later, I'm eating dinner with my middle son, Jonathan, who is protesting my habit of telling jokes --- especially to captive audiences! I explained to Jon that it's something I can't stop because "I love a good joke." To which Jon, retorts, "Dad, if only you knew one!" Ouch, again.

Just recently, I forwarded an email that a friend had sent me to my youngest son, Josh, who lives in California. Part of the email included the statement that "One should approach love and cooking with zesty abandon."

Never one to pass up an opportunity, Josh emails me back that my "cooking has long since passed zesty abandon." Since I've grown accustomed over the years to these not-so-subtle swipes at my culinary ability, I respond, "No one has gotten sick after one of my meals for at least two weeks."

This morning I got Josh's last word on the subject, "Dad, that's encouraging, but whatever you do, please don't cook for the homeless. They've suffered enough."

The last ouch is always the cruelest.