Julia is beside me. She's there as always, her genuine and kindhearted smile supporting me, through every run, and through every step in life. I often find myself reflecting back on our runs together --- Julia sprinting up all hills, a memory that has now become habit for me; or running in the rain, or through sprinklers; runs with spectacular views of the sunset; runs in which we discussed everything from movies and books, to our innermost feelings, to our dreams. We shared the joy of the run --- the freedom, the soreness, the energy and excitement, the silence, the people we passed, the changing landscapes, the uniqueness of every run.

I remember what a pleasure it was to watch Julia race. It was breathtaking for all who watched in admiration, her seemingly effortless gazelle-like leaps across the finish line. And she was always cheering for others, ready with a hug and a smile for her teammates and even opponents. Julia not only ran with her whole heart, she put her heart and love into all her endeavors and interactions with others.

How to describe Julia? One may say Julia Rusinek was sweet, kind, smart, athletic, beautiful, a Renaissance woman. Although this is all true, there is so much more than these simple adjectives to convey Julia's essence and her rare and estimable qualities. Julia transcends these words; it is more worthwhile to portray Julia via the powerful impact that she has had and continues to have on others. Julia excelled at all her various roles in our lives --- a dear friend to many, a loving daughter and sister, niece, cousin, girlfriend, a bright and friendly student, classmate and teammate, a caring camp counselor and so on. What is amazing is that she gave 100 percent in all these relationships. Just think about how difficult it is to give all of oneself in just one relationship, let alone care for oneself. However, Julia's capacity for selfless love, demonstrated by her adeptness in all these roles, is certainly evidenced by the fact that so many of us miss her intensely; and it is this incredible love and longing that brings us all physically together each year in New Haven, and always keeps us spiritually connected. This is just one illustration of the many ways that Julia continues to be a role model for me.

In addition, Julia had a precocious and profound understanding of life. Her keen insights are shocking for someone so young. For instance, let me share an example of an exchange that we had through letters about the book Lolita. I had expressed to Julia that I was distracted and disturbed by the content. Julia acknowledged my uneasiness and responded:

"...I felt seduced by his language, incapable of judging the relationship because of the twisted beauty of his words. In this, and I remember in many points of the book, I thought that the whole novel was, to some degree, about Art..."

I have always admired Julia for her eloquence and prose, her awe-inspiring phrases, her astute observations, her open-mindedness, her magical ability to find goodness in everyone and see what others couldn't. She would quote books, but I in turn would cite phrases from her letters and essays, as I have just done. Her letters were and are my literary and philosophical classics. Writing this is a challenge since I have never been able to master words to explain my admiration, respect, friendship and love for Julia. I express this in silence, in my eyes, my tears, the knot in my throat that chokes me from finding the right language.

It has been difficult at times for me to share Julia's story with people who did not know her. I feel privileged to have known Julia and wanted others to feel this. It seemed unbelievable to me how the whole world didn't just collapse, didn't feel this pain, didn't experience this terrible earthquake, with its never-ending aftershocks. How could there ever be laughter again? How could I explain in words, in tears, in stories, this tremendous loss. But Julia never ceases to amaze me. She has touched many and continues to touch many who did not know her. A 2003 GN student, Romy Drucker, writes about Julia in her graduation speech. My first-graders wrote a story about a carefree girl named Julia. Children living in homeless shelters have been touched by Julia through Roza. Her spirit is in us all, around us all. Julia continues to embrace us. There is still laughter because Julia wouldn't want to take it away; she is here to laugh with us, to run with us... and whenever I feel like I need a need a laugh, I read one of her camp letters or diary entries from her elementary school days, before I had the honor of knowing her. I have learned to laugh even as my heart still cries.

So the next time you run and feel alone, I encourage you to look for Julia. She'll be there besides you, smiling, her eyes glistening with warmth and wisdom, encouraging you to seize the day. She'll be there cheering for you when it is time to climb up the hill or when it is time to face challenges in life; and those moments when it seems like there is no goodness to be found, let Julia be your guide.

The Julia's Run for Children has become an annual event to celebrate Julia's life and raise money for underprivileged children. The next run will take place at Yale University in New Haven, CT on April 15. For information go to www.juliarun.org or call Roza Rusinek at 487 9502.