''How do you like this weather?'' Aunt Dee asked me when I picked up the phone to answer one of her rare calls to me.
''Not much,'' I responded.
''Me too. I can't go out because I'll slip on the ice and break my neck. And if I could go out, I couldn't use my car because the locks are frozen. And if I could unlock the doors, I couldn't drive because the car is covered with hard ice and I wouldn't be able to see out of the window shield.
''I can't stay in alone because I'd go crazy watching the terrible TV programs,'' she went on. ''On the regular television all they have is the same stories about the president. And on cable everything is a repeat, and it wasn't good the first time. So I'm talking to you,'' she concluded.
''That's why so many people go to Florida for the winter,'' I remarked.
''In Florida I wouldn't even want to go out,'' she said. ''All there is to do in Florida is eat the early bird when you're not even hungry. Why would I want to eat a bird that catches worms? And, speaking of that, what about the early worm? Wouldn't he have been better off sleeping late?''
I hadn't thought of that. Maybe it was a good thing that I had never been an early riser.
''You think I'm wrong? One time when I was visiting in Florida, we heard screams from outside, 'Quick, come out! You're missing it!' So we all ran outside, and what we were missing was the Goodyear blimp! That was the high spot of the day in Florida.''
''So how are you going to spend this day?'' I asked.
''I'm going to cook,'' she said. ''A wonderful lunch, after I defrost my famous blintzes. So walk over.''
''But I may slip on the ice,'' I couldn't resist saying.
''So what? You're young. Your bones won't break. Do you have any other excuses?''
I looked out of the window at my car, covered with ice. ''Give me an hour,'' I said.