Garden City has a problem. It shouldn't surprise anyone, because we've had this problem for generations now - a problem that very few people want to acknowledge - that only a fraction of the community has ever taken seriously or tried to do anything about. The problem is underage drinking and all the related violence, criminal behavior, alcoholism, medical emergencies, death and near-death situations it leads to among our young people. Here are some of the statistics on Garden City police records involving youth with alcohol and/or drugs from the most recent six-month compilation:

From September 2005 through February 2006

- 212 youth complaint calls (including out of control parties)

- 12 medical emergency calls due to alcohol or drug overdose

- 75 criminal mischief calls (more than twice the number during the same time period in 2003)

- eight arrests of residents under age 19, including four involving violence and two DWI

- Nearly $200,000 in reported property damage (the police tell us that a good portion of damage is not reported for fear of retaliation on those seeking compensation)

The police also tell us that some homes have been intentionally vandalized in retaliation against those who have dared to register complaints, press charges or seek compensation for damages. Charges are also dropped sometimes because the children of those filing the charges have been harassed or threatened by the kids being charged.

Sometimes the property damage is random. When caught, the most typical response the police get from kids about why they threw the chair through the window, or set the fire, or broke the furniture was, "I was bored" and "I was drinking." More and more, underage drinking is becoming a problem at the middle school level.

At first glance, all this looks like a "kid problem." But, ultimately, this is a "parent problem." Too many parents seem confused about their role and their goals as parents. Wisdom is realizing that a large part of parenting is simply to understand and be comfortable with the fact that you are the adult - you are the parent. You have been given the power to be in control for a very good reason, and you have to be willing to use that power benevolently for the sake of your kids because they don't yet have enough experience to be the ones in control without hurting themselves or others.

A big part of the parental goal is to keep kids alive through the high school years; to teach them honesty, compassion and caring and to honor and respect the lives and rights of others. Aren't these the "family values" we want to promote in our community? Parents need to have an eye to the future and watch out for patterns of behavior that will hurt their kids in the long run. Yet the police tell us that instead of hearing parents ask questions about getting help for kids who are repeatedly in trouble for drinking, all they ever hear from parents are questions about how to keep their kid's name out of the newspapers.

As parents, we protect our children's lives from harm, but it is not a good thing to always protect our children from the consequences of behavior. All kids make mistakes. Some pay the consequences and learn from them. But there are many kids who are protected by parents from ever experiencing the consequences of their actions. Their parents write checks to pay for the damage, settle complaints and thereby clear the way for their children to continue behaviors that are both self-destructive and harmful to others.

What can parents do? First, help is available with information about many practical things you can do through the Community Council on Substance Abuse and Violence Prevention. This great village organization offers wonderful educational programs, booklets and support for meeting the challenges of good parenting in these difficult times. You don't have to join anything. Just decide you want to be a better parent and then take advantage of the help that's being offered. If you would like to know more about the Community Council and its programs, contact Meg Monaghan at 739-3437.

Second, The Garden City Interfaith Clergy Fellowship is sponsoring a special "Faith in Action" program Wednesday, June 14, between 7:15 and 9 p.m. at The Presbyterian Church in Garden City, 91 Chester Avenue on the corner of New Hyde Park Road. Our guest speaker on this evening, Devorah Weinmann, will speak on the topic, "What's Ahead for Parents of Teens?" Please plan to be a part of this community-wide parenting event. The invitation to participate in not limited to parents only. All concerned people are welcome to attend.

The Rev. James Adelmann, pastor, Garden City Community Church

The Venerable Theodore Bean, provost, Cathedral of the Incarnation

George Brown, deacon, St. Anne's Roman Catholic Church

Msgr. John Gilmartin, pastor, St. Anne's Roman Catholic Church

Rabbi Stephen Goodman, Garden City Jewish Center

The Rev. Bill Harmon, pastor, Lutheran Church of the Resurrection

The Rev. Wanda Lawry Hughes, pastor, The Presbyterian Church in Garden City

The Rev. Brian Ingram, associate pastor, St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Church

The Rev. Hope Johnson, minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Central Nassau

Dr. Anne Klaeysen, leader, Ethical Humanist Society of Long Island

The Rev. Debra Low-Skinner, rector, Christ Episcopal Church

Ian Rottenberg, youth director, Garden City Community Church

The Rev. Joseph Schlafer, pastor, St. Joseph's Roman Catholic Church

The Rev. Lynn Sullivan, associate pastor, Garden City Community Church