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Editorial: Capitalism Over Common Sense

After the latest school shooting—one that claimed the life of an Oregon teen—it was revealed an Oklahoma-based company is marketing the “Bodyguard Blanket,” a foldable, bright-orange pad that can be strapped onto a child’s chest or back. The product promises to protect against “90 percent of all weapons that have been used in school shootings in the United States.”

 

The Bodyguard Blanket is not a post-apocalyptic sci-fi fantasy, it is real life. Let this soak in: We now live in a country where school shootings are so routine that businesses see them as an opportunity to fill a niche and make some money. Ever industrious, America seems more prepared to flex its capitalistic muscle than figure out how to stop these mass murders.

 

The Washington Post reports there have been 74 school shootings since the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary. Each shooting sparks the same tired political rhetoric, talk without action. 

 

So, in the spirit of capitalism, we propose a product designed to stifle these senseless killings of children, the “Common Sense Comforter.”
 

It’s free to produce and will immediately render all politicians obsolete. Unfortunately, it’s impossible to get the necessary permits.

News

There was a time when people knew what they were eating. Frozen meals, fast food chains and ingredients impossible to pronounce were non-existent. Instead, simple ingredients and meals were all made from scratch.

Joann P. Magri, owner of The Divine Olive, is keeping this way of eating alive. Offering hungry customers with a choice in quality foods and ingredients, Magri encourages customers to make their own meals. With shelves stocked full of 18-year-old vinegars straight from Modena, Italy, to extra virgin olive oils infused with various herbs and flavors, the Divine Olive features a variety of organic and vegan products, all 100 percent natural. It even has handmade spaghetti and fresh bread, which perfectly pairs with all of their other products.

It’s a cute little ‘bug.’ What it represents, however, is anything but cute.

An unusual-looking Volkswagen is toodling around Long Island this month. Painted to resemble the Asian longhorned beetle (ALB), the VW Beetle is part of efforts by the US Department of Agriculture to eliminate the pest, which can destroy 70 percent of an area’s tree canopy, according to the agency. Initially, officials held hope for complete eradication from about 23 square miles of LI designated as infested or at risk by 2016. Instead, this “landcape-altering pest” is spreading.


Sports

It will be difficult to top the exhilaration of being crowned Nassau County Champs, but the 2014 Farmingdale Dalers will begin their defense of the title on Sept. 13 at rival Massapequa—whom they beat to claim the crown.

“The attitude is that we have to prove it again,” said Head Coach Buddy Krumenacker, who has been at the helm since 1993. “But I think we’ll be okay,” he added.

Register now as classes fill up quickly and you don’t want to miss out on the chance to join in trapeze workshops at Eisenhower Park’s I.FLY this fall.

 

“I.FLY was designed to give kids and adults the ability to fulfill their dreams of being in the circus,” says instructor Anthony Rosamilia.  “Flying through the air never gets boring.  At I.FLY, we help people create lifelong memories.” 


Calendar

Board of Education Special Meeting

Wednesday, Aug. 27

Movies on the Green: The Nut Job

Thursday, Aug. 28

Warbirds Legends Weekend

Friday, Aug. 29



Columns

1959: The Year The Music Stopped Playing
Written by Michael A. Miller, mmillercolumn@gmail.com

The Eccentric Heiress Of ‘Empty Mansions’
Written by Mike Barry, MFBarry@optonline.net

Yellow Margarine And A Pitch For The Ages
Written by Michael A. Miller, mmillercolumn@gmail.com