Farmingdale Youth Board's Big Friend volunteers recently met for their first semiannual workshop at Annabelle Ristorante. The Big Friend program was established to provide mentor adults for youngsters from local, single parent homes in an effort to provide positive role-models. Volunteers provide recreational, cultural and social activities, such as taking youngsters to sports events, movies, or to the mall. Group activities are arranged throughout the year in which each Big Friend and their Little Friend can participate.

The program, which has been in existence for approximately 15-20 years, selects children quite liberally. Youth Board members meet with social workers in Farmingdale's elementary schools to determine if any children enrolled in the schools would benefit from having an adult mentor to spend time with. They also use referrals and advertising to recruit youngsters.

The Youth Board generally seeks children who lack something at home. While most of the youngsters in the program come from single parent homes, they accept any child who is having trouble in their everyday lives due to stresses he or she is experiencing at home. Sometimes parents even refer the children to the program themselves.

Lou Ruggiero, Farmingdale Youth Board director, explained that the aim of the program is to provide an adult mentor, not to substitute for a missing parent in the child's life. The mentor should establish a special long-term relationship in which the child feels comfortable enough to confide his or her thoughts and feelings. There is no set time limit that the two have to correspond, and some friendships end up lasting a lifetime. The adult provides concern, guidance and companionship that might be lacking in the child's home life and hopefully helps build the child's assurance, self-sufficiency and individuality in a positive direction.

The Big Friend and Little Friend are generally the same sex so the youngster can feel they have a role model and mentor to look up to. They are also chosen this way so the child could feel they have somebody to relate to and open up to.

According to Ruggiero, the adult might spend as little as a few hours a week with their Little Friend. All that is expected is that the adult will share his or her time with the child doing everyday events such as shopping, visiting the library, participating in community activities and visiting community facilities. Basically the adult is supposed to be a positive friend for the child.

"It has been such a rewarding experience for me and the Big Friends who get involved," said Ruggiero, who has been the program's director for just over a year. "It's incredible some of the experiences we've had. We really try to bring up the child's self-esteem and just be there for them."

Volunteers for the Big Friend program go through a screening process before being chosen to participate. Upon acceptance, they are given guidelines as to how to behave in certain instances, such as health hazardous situations.

"We have parameters as to how much involvement is expected from them," said Ruggiero. "Also procedures to follow in case of injury." Ruggiero continued to explain that the Big Friend is made aware of any allergies or health conditions their Little Friend may have, and that in the event of any circumstances where a child needs medical attention the parent must be immediately notified before any procedures take place.

Volunteers hold workshops such as the one held earlier this month at Annabella's Ristorante in Farmingdale to identify any concerns they may have, share experiences, and discuss tactics as to how to act with the child. Their most recent workshop concentrated on efforts to increase dialogue among the existing volunteers and to recruit new volunteers.

The Youth Board recognizes the support of the Farmingdale Youth Council and the Town of Oyster Bay, through the Department of Community and Youth Services, for the program's continued success. They receive funding through both and with those funds plan trips and activities as groups. Last year, the Youth Board took a trip to Shea Stadium with the Farmingdale Rotary Club to enjoy a Mets game.

"We feel we have a way to be generous with the kids without making them feel like a charity," Ruggiero said. "We really just want them to feel they have somebody there to look up to, more of a friend, but also an adult who can provide insight from a different aspect." In the past, various organizations have contributed to the Youth Board in giving them passes for events such as Islanders hockey games, movie theater tickets and bowling alley passes.

Adults and parents of youngsters interested in being a part of the Big Friend Little Friend program should contact Lou Ruggiero at the Farmingdale Youth Board, located at 361 Main Street in Farmingdale, or by calling 249-2928.